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2018. 11. 27. · Gone are the days when mothers are presumed to be the "chosen parent" for physical custody. Today, all states adhere to the "best interest of the child" standard in determining both legal and physical custody of children. Courts generally believe that children mature best when both parents are active in their lives. But don't be fooled. Mothers can lose. Ways a Mother Can Lose Custody. In order to understand how this could happen, it’s important that we take the time to examine 6 ways in which a mother might lose custody as a result of her own actions: 1. Child Abuse. Society tends to see women as nurturing, but they can be just as capable of abuse. Despite the commonly held belief that women.